I don’t even know what to do right now. I don’t know how to deal with this.
I feel like I’m going to vomit
I just found out he cheated on me. Several times. With that bitch.
And now our friend is saying that I deserve better because my ex is a pathological liar. Which I’ve known for a long time, honestly. But I don’t think that’s a reason to give up on him. In my opinion, his lying is not much different than my anxiety disorder. He can’t really help it and I’m not sure if he’s even fully aware of it. So I think that giving up on him for something like that would be just as bad as if he gave up on me because of my anxiety and/or depression. Plus, I can tell when he’s lying. I’ve always been able to. The problem is how he handles it when I confront him.
Welp, my ex should be heading over to our friend’s house right about now. Our friend is planning to talk to him about what happened and see if he was really serious about not wanting to be with me, and I don’t know what else.
For the record, I did not ask this friend to do this. I told him that I don’t think there’s any point. But he seems to truly believe that we can work things out, and he told me that he thinks I’m awesome for my ex and I am probably the best match my ex will find.
After typing that out, I kinda feel like I’m being shipped. Hm.
Oh yea. I came out to my mom as genderqueer yesterday. Her responses?
“I know how that is, I like wearing jeans and boots too.”
“I may not agree, but I support you.”
She also denies ever saying things like “t*****” or “f**” and still says that if any of my brothers or I were gay then she wouldn’t go to the gay kid’s wedding.
Oh, and she immediately asked if I like having sex with women. Even though I told her multiple times that sexual orientation and gender identity have nothing to do with each other. And that’s a really invasive way to ask about my orientation.
The support is overwhelming, mom.
Oh, and that’s now two friends who think we will work things out, or at least have a chance at working things out.
Not that the amount of friends who believe I’m telling the truth and/or that we might fix things will really change anything, but eh.
there’s a special place in hell for people that tell you to calm down when you’re already calm during an argument
(via titocahuazque)
Well, just got off the phone with someone who has known him years longer than I have, and he made me feel better in a sense by confirming that I DON’T imagine all the things that he does. I’m not crazy. He really does those things and other people know it. I can’t really go into more detail than that without going into the WHOLE mess, plus I actually am a bit concerned that my ex might be reading these posts.
But at least I know this isn’t all in my head.
Based on a text that a mutual friend just sent me, I’m guessing he’s still telling everyone we both know that I said I was going to kill myself. Of course, I spent the night at this friend’s house last night, so he may have just seen the cuts on my arms at some point. Who knows.
Oh, and this friend is insisting that we still have a shot of working things out as soon as my ex realizes he’s being an asshole. The question is, will he ever realize that. Nope.